Benny Hill Riff.

July 20, 2008 at 9:32 am | Posted in writing | 20 Comments
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Dada diddle diddle dumb dumb dada. Subtitled, cos I want to, On Being Childless.

I read the other day, at least I think I did, that if you are approaching fifty, male and childless the chances are really good that you’re gay. Which puts me in a tiny minority, a middle aged heterosexual white (and I say that because in the world into which I was born and through no fault of my own that was of distinct benefit. In fact, a sane person looking at my life would say, “Why? You have thrown away every advantage including an elegant and complex education. You own nothing, no property, no wife, no children.” My hair is literally turning grey and I am a large and shambling beast. I am an exile where ever I am.

No, I cannot be more literally true for fear of implicating the innocent since I was drunk a lot of the time, (insert link=”the complete unreliability of memory” and like any drunk include the sober) some balding man in rags, a woodgnome in a clearing giggling through his moustachioes with his arm around the plumpest sweetest smiling one. We all heard music whenever she moved. Haha, amoral you see not immoral, in that in life one must first survive. Everything else is a surplus which you are free to give away and in doing so offer hope to those around you. It is a small sacrifice. As your society fragments, which it is right now inside these lunatic machines which exaggerate every effect, which are literally changing the way thought occurs, you will need to remember the things which were fundamental to the survival and success of the little pink people. Similarity becomes far more important than the bizarre twentieth century cult of the personality. (Though you must remember to celebrate diversity amorally, in that it is fundamental to your survival. It was one of our first assets and mirrors the tao.) People would call you names, attach words whose meaning is long dead as if in an archaic language, communist, anarchist and antichrist, atheist, subversive, arrogant and insidious. So I am childless by choice.

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