different senses, different shoes
November 3, 2009 at 8:03 pm | Posted in writing | 10 CommentsTags: experiential poetry, fundamentalism, poetry, writing
unless you are a practioner of the dark arts emerging
schmooze leadened sense
from Bowen Hills
highhat bass and most important
esoteric referensh
perhaps in sullen sluggish chains led
regretful wriggling uncomfortable on its claws
look for two most
unexpected arrivals
rival twice
then be gone
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ooh, I like the way this makes me feel! especially the ending, I like it the best, strange and yet tantalizing, with a hint of sexual humor? not sure, but it it works.
Comment by harmonie22— November 3, 2009 #
A small poem but large buffet for thought. I love the unexpected, coming together.
Comment by Thomma Lyn— November 4, 2009 #
Cool, thankyou, both. I have made a few little edits to move it away from obviousness and added some word play.
Comment by Paul Squires— November 4, 2009 #
whoa nelly! that’s a powerpacked poem and foretelling feeling
Comment by tipota— November 4, 2009 #
I’m a bit confused by this one – might need some clues – I’m intrigued by the Bowen Hills reference. Is this poem a bit drunk? And has it got something to do with sadomasochism?
Comment by Gabrielle Bryden— November 4, 2009 #
The poem is a bit drunk, Gabrielle and yes there is something of sadomasochism in it but only in the general sense of power. The sexual is implied but it is not in any portrayed. It is used as a device to talk about a more general theme which can be segued out into the political. It is however, gender free.
I grew up at a time when feminism and the patriarchy was widely discussed, particularly in respect of the language. I think you will find it is a theme which is woven right through my work. But I cannot help being a heterosexual and sexually boring person.
Comment by Paul Squires— November 4, 2009 #
OH MY GOD! do you know how long i’ve been trying to work out how to spell segues? I here it said but never written. Has been driving me NUTS. segway is the best i’d come up with till now. (and yes i did try looking up the dictionary :P).
Comment by Samantha— November 4, 2009 #
I cannot help but to see in this a gipsy caravan trailing a dancing bear..Now I just have to figure out an esoteric referensh for a dancing bear and why would a traveling gipsy band carry a highhat bass (it is quite an unconfortable drum to be carried on the road)…
I guess I missed much on that lingustic discussion?
Comment by Ana— November 5, 2009 #
thrz that exchange again… written inbetween a shared sense of off kilter just enuf to tangalzie.. tangle/tantlize… new word.. we can do that anytime!!… on that experimental edge of of of… well, enuf of that i like that hidden let me think abt it most enjoyable thank you very much
Comment by pieceofpie— November 6, 2009 #
You have an eccentric way of weaving words. It looks more of an aggreagate of words than a poem.
Comment by Den Relojo— November 8, 2009 #