the transgressive experimental
October 19, 2009 at 6:37 pm | Posted in poetry, writing | 17 CommentsTags: experiential poetry, poem, sonnet, writing
softly scented whispers drifting words
like fingertips poem this, or lace perhaps
invites a shy transgression overlaps hibiscus
songs interpolate a minor wrong in triplicate
quick slipped a silent underpass
slyness through a poem blissed
an unlit bloom in midnight room,
caressed in subtle duplicate tightly
there just under where a softly scented
whisper lingers in a repetitious tit for tat
where once a linguist army gathered
apples under umber skies
remains without remorse a kiss,
a kiss, a kiss of course
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I was going to say ‘like fingertips poem this’ does not read right to my ears, but then further reading ‘slyness through a poem blissed’ makes such work and I am liking this, you.Especially the third stanza.
Comment by SarahA— October 19, 2009 #
this flows nicely,
Comment by Crafty green poet— October 20, 2009 #
upfront the title scared me, something about the gressive part of trans and experimental
the linguist army too and the umber skies though not painted harshly are terrifying
it makes me want to look for blue somewhere and avoid kissing
(aside-i love that vodpod matisse piece and then i think of how studies/experiment/investigation can seem like repetition, how many times did matisse investigate the play of flat color shapes and circles and starry things but i know from personal experience that each query is new, even tho one could investigate just one molecule for a lifetime and not be finished ever, maybe thats the scary thing after all)
anyway it turns out 2b an unforgettable poem for all time
Comment by tipota— October 20, 2009 #
A sonnet with three kisses – hey! This is packed full of delicious stuff to be unraveled. ‘where once a linguist army gathered
apples under umber skies’ is a gem. Internal rhymes are suitably experimental for a sonnet.
Comment by Gabrielle Bryden— October 20, 2009 #
i’m still making up my mind. is all poetry experimental, or is none of it?
Comment by breathenoah— October 20, 2009 #
sssssoft and beautiful.
Comment by Narnie— October 20, 2009 #
such sweet, sweet music Paul… and sealed with a kiss. who said romance was dead!
Comment by gnunn— October 20, 2009 #
I felt relieved after reading this 🙂 Though there is still a touch of sadness in it, it flows with grace and gentleness.
Comment by Ana— October 21, 2009 #
Oooh, beautiful — I love how the sounds work with one another in this poem, and how the images play off one another in such exquisite harmony.
Comment by Thomma Lyn— October 21, 2009 #
gorgeous and very flirtatious Paul
would love to hear these words from your lips
Comment by art predator— October 21, 2009 #
beautiful….
Comment by Tina— October 22, 2009 #
memories n reflections…being wrapped in a familiar shawl…cozy…carefree joys of youth…safe n happy…
viva Po!
Comment by hayat— October 22, 2009 #
Lovely linebreaking interpolation a kiss a kiss a kiss
Comment by lostinmist— October 22, 2009 #
what a beautiful bit of word lace this is
Comment by alethakuschan— October 23, 2009 #
Bravo!
Comment by gerry— October 25, 2009 #
[…] gingatao laid his sonnet on the table and I thought I’d raise him a […]
Pingback by Ruby Valley « Gabrielle Bryden's Blog— October 25, 2009 #
Hello there Mr Squires – I do so LOVE this poetry of yours. This is one to read aloud and savour the textured sounds your words have me weaving…just lovely.
Comment by Tracey— October 30, 2009 #