Who built this crazy thing?

August 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm | Posted in poetry, writing | 16 Comments
Tags: ,

He looks up. Nothing,
dear, just playing
with the trains.
Serving in Ms Squirrel’s Army,
Chief of Secret Handshakes
Yes dear, she says, those were
the days, now come,
and eat
on the balcony overlooking
a rare and woolly sea
tell me one time about
the cunning plan
which sets us free

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16 Comments »

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  1. That’s a whole world and two complete people and the story of their lives and love and it’s told so simply and so tenderly, with such wit and wonder, that it makes me want to cry and laugh and get out my trains.

    Happy Tuesday.
    Cool, Happy Tuesday to you too Sack Posset.

  2. hi- i never know what to say to respond to poems, it always seems so inadequate, like someone speaks to you in English and you answer him in kitten mieows…or reading a book and baking a cake in response…do you know what I mean? I like your stuff, anyway. that’s about all i can manage !!
    Thankyou! I really like comments from people who don’t think of themselves as poets. Have a wonderful day, Screamish.

  3. Really nice writing. Keep up the good work.
    Thanks, Michelle.

  4. i second sack posset 🙂
    Haha, that is almost cheating, but I’ll let you get away with it, Jessie, cos you are so wonderful.

  5. I watched the Simpsons last night and the vicar was playing with his trains and so wouldn’t do an emergency baptism for Ned Flanders. They kept getting trashed and he shook his hand at the sky and said, ‘Why do you hate my trains, Lord?’

    A woolly sea… lovely. All of it is.
    Thankyou, Ma’am. I don’t think anyone has noticed the slight rudeness of this one yet, so we’re safe.

  6. Wow, Paul — I relate to this poem on levels which I simply cannot describe, but yes, “tell me one time about / the cunning plan / which sets us free.”
    I am a fan of Blackadder, Thomma Lyn and their cunning plans. How are the frogs and fantastical funghi going?

  7. slight rudeness?
    *goes back and rereads*
    please tell me this isn’t all about oral sex
    cause if it is I am going to snort with laughter
    Whoops. Perhaps I should edit that comment? Snorting is un-ladylike, Samantha.

  8. ” a rare and woolly sea” …yes, lovely. Each time I visit your blog I find a new, precious image and I like this much…
    I’m glad you did, Annamari. Thankyou.

  9. Nice.
    Thanks, Robert.

  10. Excelent poem paul, I liked that idea, that thing that is going on in the family. OF course the last 2 lines are fabulous.

    Bye bye
    Hello, bye bye, thankyou, Mariana.

  11. Very British I feel. I am not game to comment just in case it is about what what no. 7 said. Trains are great and so is the art of espionage.
    Espionage is a beautiful word, Gabrielle, thankyou.

  12. Mmmm… this is wonderful. On first reading I thought, ‘Oh that is beautiful – what a lovely couple’. Then on my second time through I thought I sensed a certain ‘wink and a smile’ kind of cheek in there. I don’t know how I missed it with my first read…
    A lovely, multi-layered work Paul.
    Thanks, Tracey. Wink and a smile indeed.

  13. Wonderful, Paul. I can’t work out if there’s a tenderness in the woman’s words or just a twinkle that a lifetime of misogyny can be repaid by being not cruel but patronising. As fine a dissection of gender politics as I’ve read in a long while
    Cool, thanks Dan. She does twinkle.

  14. That last line just changes everything… hopeful and sad and exciting…
    And all at the same time. Thanks, Bryan.

  15. powerful, paul. And beautiful. To answer your question, that’s what I want to know too. love the internal rhyme, and the simple expression is what’s needed for something as deep as this. Hope your well!
    I am very well, thankyou Harmonie. And thankyou for your brilliant reading of my tiny pome too.

  16. long time no see. it’s good to get out and about again. happy to see you are still making art with your writing.

    Rick
    Mobbsy!


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