Exu (impatient)
June 15, 2009 at 7:18 pm | Posted in contemporary poetry, poetry, writing | 27 CommentsTags: poetry, sonnet, writing
Gibbon-like ungibberished, gelatine round gelignite,
with nothing left to write cos the I had died
and disappeared into the sounds of words,
the instrumental instrumental in achieving
their effect, affect. Vague gestures,
affectations where words were mere
advertisements. Were mere,
worm ear, sneaking slippery in and squiggling.
Ullulates undulate snake-like
the face mask merger vudu exu
hidden in some unpause where syllabubbles
overlap like gelatine round gelignite,
whilst gibbon-like ungibberished
all tiggerish he waits whilst you undress.
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i bet you had fun all giggling n stuff while writing that
Yes indeed, Noah. I should have tagged it ‘writing for fun’.
Comment by breathenoah— June 15, 2009 #
that last line 🙂 very cool!
Thankyou.
Comment by jessiecarty— June 15, 2009 #
i missed this! i missed this i missed this, i missed you.
I missed you too!! Hello,
Comment by aefiel— June 15, 2009 #
Somewhere and somehow related to a Lennon or Blake poem, at least by your clever use of sound and repetition to push your idea past the censoring minds of some readers…
Well considered and wove through the surface is an access to a deeper idea about sound, our relationship to it, and how our love for word sounds has been usurped by the pinstripes…
Also, and here you make me consider something about poetry and advertising which I have never quite thought of in this way before…
That advertising, its sound, its din, and the roar of the industry needed to create it, has dulled the collective ear for poetry…
Thanks,
Poetman
Thankyou, Poetman. That is a fabulous comment. I’ve always been intrigued by the nexus of poetry and advertising. There are many convergences.
Comment by 1poet4man— June 16, 2009 #
I really, really enjoyed this one a lot! Made me smile too. The controversy, bluntness, the way with words.. You’re the man 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Sue. And hello,
Comment by Sue— June 16, 2009 #
Ha! And I cannot help notice your twittering on top poetry blog in Australia… mucho applause all round. (btw – A sonnet indeed, conforming without convention. Bravo.)
Thankyou, Narnie. I see the blog’s number ranking as a victory for loudmouthed anarchist troublemakers everywhere.
Comment by Narnie— June 16, 2009 #
Oh what wonderful sounds he plays. I loved syllabubbles. This is a great sonnet. Hope all is well. Have a great day.
Thanks, Michelle. You too.
Comment by Michelle Johnson— June 16, 2009 #
If words are mere
Then I do fear
The tigger affect
Is the worm in the ear! 🙂
I liked this Paul. You write with an ease many envy.
Ahh, the ease is an illusion. Making it look easy, that is the trick, Val. Your little ditty is fabulous, it made me grin. Thankyou.
Comment by Val— June 16, 2009 #
I’m going to agree with Jessie – great poem but, man, that last line makes me BOUNCE. Love it.
Cool, thanks Bryan. You are a superstar.
Comment by poeticgrin— June 16, 2009 #
Yes I am liking your words, but only wish instead of ‘cos’ you had use ‘because’. I am fussy. A pet peeve of mine in Poetry.
Very well put together words, you.
Thankyou, Saraha. I understand your reservations about ‘cos’ but in this case I think it was appropriate for metrical reasons. I shall try to avoid it in future.
Comment by SarahA— June 16, 2009 #
instrumental kinda entropically de-essed, rock and rolls or rills or spills or thrills, great work, fascinating and fun, enjoyed reading it a several times and it just gets magicker each time like a wonderful song
Schpectacular, thankyou Tipota. You make me embarrassed because I can’t seem to write wonderful comments like yours anymore. I must lift my game.
Comment by tipota— June 16, 2009 #
Oh my, the wordplay in this is a syllabubblicious riot! 😀
Cool, was it like a wriggley worm in your ear, Thomma Lyn?
Comment by Thomma Lyn— June 16, 2009 #
Cool feed back loop short fuse and all. My pen is dry but still I have my ears and eyes. Congrats to you, Paul. Straight to #15 !!!!
Woohoo, the poets are taking back the word, Brad.
Comment by Brad— June 16, 2009 #
Word wizard you have done it again.
Thankyou, Vesper. I still get people coming via your blog looking for “Double Happiness Helix” which is very cool.
Comment by vesper de vil— June 16, 2009 #
very tiggerish
Boing boing
Comment by art predator— June 16, 2009 #
Tiggerish and Seussian…even though they’re not real words…lol. Good one, Paul.
They are real words now, Tina. And supercool ones too, thankyou.
Comment by Tina T.— June 16, 2009 #
ooo nice and twisty :)!!
Haha, thankyou, Ms Mist.
Comment by Mental Mist— June 16, 2009 #
[…] one has an origin I can trace, woohoo! It came shim shimmering from cocoyea, gingatao’s Exu(impatient), with a dash of Tracey’s site name that i totally covet! Posted in stonehinge. Tags: […]
Cool, a circle of poems ending in chocolate. What more could anyone want!
Pingback by silver « Mental Mist— June 17, 2009 #
hold on tight! another linguistic roller coaster ride through your fruitful synapses!
fun indeed…
Crazy times, Chico. Your stories are fantabulous.
Comment by Chico Mahalo— June 17, 2009 #
I feel like I just took a syllabubble bath!
[ http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4b/Three_ducks_in_the_tub.jpg ]
Fun.
Haha, this comment got caught in the spam filter cos of the link, Phil. But I’m glad I found it eventually. That is too cool.
Comment by Phil Thrift— June 17, 2009 #
I’m happy to oblige in the smiling department gringatao. 🙂
The art of the ditty and limerick is very underrated. I throw down the gauntlet and challenge you to write a limerick. 😉
There was a young lady named Val
who proved to be quite a pal.
Her challenge is hard
cos my brain is like lard
and I don’t think I can rhyme the last line as well.
I return your challenge with a word quiz. If a gauntlet is a type of glove, where does ‘running the gauntlet’ come from? And why is it that if you say a word over and over like ‘gauntlet’ it starts to sound wierd, gauntlet, is a small gaunt?
Comment by Val— June 17, 2009 #
Great piece of text.
It’s true it is all abound undress, either like this either like that, the thing is just getting there, the rest is just trying to make it look more poetic.
Absolutely, Mariana. It would be naked blogging time, but it is to0 cold over here.
Comment by Mariana— June 17, 2009 #
Seriously, this is one of my favourite poems by anyone, ever.
Anyone, ever? Wow, thankyou, Sack Posset.
Comment by Sack Posset— June 17, 2009 #
I think you’ve been doing the daily crossword again haven’t you gringatao? Okay, let me see…does this mean you’ve taken up the gauntlet or does it mean the gloves are off? If one runs the gauntlet, is it as painful if they ‘cuff’ you with their gloves? Supposing one must wait for the gauntlet experience, the fear could put you off your food, thus leading to a rather gaunt appearance as one runs the gauntlet. Therefore, I conclude with another limerick.
The gauntlet of gloves was quite scary
And I attempted to hold back and tarry
My face it was gaunt
From fear and food want
And I was feeling rather contrary
Haha, you win, Val. I make a wide bow over my feathered cap. Fantabulous.
Comment by valbrussell— June 18, 2009 #
An oldie but a goody:
There was a young man called Paul
Who went to a fancy-dress ball
He thought he would risk it
So he went as a biscuit
But a dog ate him up in the hall.
I hope it was an old three-legged dog, Sack.
Comment by Sack Posset— June 18, 2009 #
I won because it was fun. Thank you for participating in some harmless buffoonery with me.
Haha, you’re welcome. It was fun, thankyou too.
Comment by valbrussell— June 19, 2009 #
Slippery and somewhat sensual. Nice one.
Oh, only somewhat? I shall have to try harder, Harmonie. Haha, thankyou.
Comment by harmonie22— June 19, 2009 #