Omelette Antihaiku.
November 17, 2008 at 6:21 pm | Posted in antihaiku, poetry, writing | 15 CommentsTags: antihaiku, poetry, self-parody, writing, writing for fun
“What’s for breakfast, Blue” (for a threelegged
dog tribute poem double self
portrait with hinge.. .
you can’t make an omelette without
you see some of us were born to trouble
son when seeing flocks of sheep idly
graze on each others thoughts
in fantasy fields of gentle lies
agreed by some mere mutuality
can’t help but bark and it’s your
job, Blue, to get ’em moving in the other
direction, they’re headin’ for the gate, boy,
even it means the only friend left to
talk to is you, Blue,
he says,
melting butter and chopping garlic.
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“I’ve thrown my hat into the ring…” Notes to me- You need to start thinking about the implications of every writer’s voice is an artificial construct, also,
Paul Kelly is one the best songwriters Australia has ever produced.
“and yet all your good advice
doesn’t stop me from going through these things twice,” haha,
Comment by Paul— November 17, 2008 #
I like the idea of speaking poetry while making an omelette, shame i can’t make omelettes.
I like the sheep grazing on each others’ thoughts, I’ll have to watch the sheep on the farm more closely now…
Hello, Juliet. I was thinking about your bunny rabbits when I was writing this, believe it or not. This one might be a good one to put in Bolts Of Silk? I’ll go ask you in a mail, see what you think.
Comment by Crafty green Poet— November 17, 2008 #
I like the idea of the sheepdog, born to trouble…
Someone has to show the sheep the gate…
Woof!
Comment by Crushed— November 17, 2008 #
This piece demonstrates your bravery and confidence as a writer. An antihaiku as self-parody? The challenge paid off here. And such vivid images. I can smell the garlic and have the intense urge to watch over your shoulder to learn what other ingredients you’ll use.
Thankyou. Bravery and confidence, or just not caring too much,
Comment by poeticgrin— November 17, 2008 #
mmmm – melted butter and chopped garlic
And it’s breakfast time here (7am)!
Thanks, Philip.
Comment by Philip Thrift— November 17, 2008 #
They are all part of the scene, perfect both in construction and their numbers, who says there isn’t a god :)?
😀 loved it!
Yayay, I’m so glad you liked this one, Mental Mist.
Comment by Mental Mist— November 17, 2008 #
perfect intimate setting
breakfast is
Yes, it is Ozy. Care for a Stella with that?
Comment by ozymandiaz— November 18, 2008 #
saute til golden and translucent
then add the scramble cook low heat
until fluffy flip it , eat it hot
with butter toast
got any coffee?
Plenty coffee, Tipota and tea and ice cream,
Comment by tipota— November 18, 2008 #
i’ve always got coffee–do you want cream and honey with it or black?
and some of us will stick around, squires, no matter what you do, to see what’s for breakfast tomorrow, and admire the scenery, and smell the butter and garlic
and moving is good, not just grazing and standing around in each other’s shit, so good for you and Blue
And good for you too, Gwedolyn. I think I will go out and woof at a few passersbye now,
Comment by artpredator— November 18, 2008 #
Garlic makes my belly hurt but butter is decadent and delicate, yum. You know, the only way a dog herds sheep is to have a desire to attack them. The shepherd has to totally manipulate the dog to that state without letting it step over the mark or you know what happens? They all tumble over the cliff. You should whisper ‘Walk up, Blue.’
I would, Narnie but he’s deaf. If I whisper at this old dog he’ll just stand there scratching himself. I thought only vampires didn’t like garlic?
Comment by Mary P— November 18, 2008 #
Oh this is quite lovely! I like the double-hinged portrait of self.
I’m here from The Buffaloe Pen and I’ll be back!
Hello, and welcome. I very glad you enjoyed the poem.
Comment by hysperia— November 18, 2008 #
Hey Paul. Thanks for the generous words. Sorry I wasn’t around to share a beer with you.
I enjoyed contemplating your omelette. One dog’s breakfast is another man’s tapas, but he still has to eat from the plate. Oh well. Pass me a toothpick. I’ll race you for the last olive.
Cool, I’ll be over your place on Saturday for a beer again, Brad. We’ll need something to soak those olives in.
Comment by Brad— November 18, 2008 #
Were any eggs harmed in the making of this omelette?
[just kidding…snicker…]
I loved this piece. I think Blue is more of an omelette than a frittata guy.
🙂
Haha, the eggs were merely collatoral damage,
Comment by poseidonsmuse— November 19, 2008 #
grazing on each others thoughts..lots to chew on there…Bekki
Comment by nectarfizz— November 22, 2008 #
hmm sounds like some left wing hidden political agenda to me.. follow the leader, the leader, the leader, follow the leader wherever he may go… remember that song… tho blue is a very good dog… i know the election is over … and probably has nothin to do with this story… but i still feel trapped…
Oh no, Ms Pie, not at all hidden. Quite blatant and obvious I would have thought. Revolution. Why not? Is what you have now working so well, has it ever worked? Whilst unfettered capitalism is allowed to run riot the majority of the world will suffer so that a few can live in luxury. It’s a simple fact. But there is no need to feel trapped. Revolution of thought is always possible.
Comment by pieceofpie— November 25, 2008 #