A small boy holding flowers,
July 22, 2008 at 8:05 pm | Posted in writing | 38 CommentsTags: poetry, writing
I miss you and I wanted to write
you a letter to tell you I miss you
but there is no silence
like hello unanswered,
He is standing at your front door
holding a bunch of flowers
his fringe falling over his face
just another barefoot boy
with bicycle and slingshot
too shy to knock
I was putting your hospital things
in boxes this morning, I miss you, and
the last drawing in your sketch book
was of a little blue boy holding
a bunch of yellow flowers
and a slingshot
too shy to knock,
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note to me, submitted to foam:e
Utterly gorgeous. The repetition, the personal voice, the movement… utterly gorgeous. The third ‘I miss you’ is breathtakingly poignant. One of my favourites.
Comment by Mary P— July 22, 2008 #
are those daisies in his hands?
Comment by aefiel— July 23, 2008 #
there is no silence like hello unanswered
what a wonderful line
i may need to post it on my blog…
Comment by artpredator— July 23, 2008 #
i also like how it reads in the orchid room feed–all strung together it feels like a sigh
Comment by artpredator— July 23, 2008 #
Stunning. I got a chill up my spine. That image of the little boy with the flowers and the silence after hello,
Comment by Writer not Reading— July 23, 2008 #
Oh, how utterly devastating and yet so beautifully and simply written, which I know was your intent – still, you ripped my heart out! I really love it when you write like this.
Your fan,
Sx
Comment by Simonne— July 23, 2008 #
so sweetly written Paul… i can almost tell the story of before and after that falls between the lines.
Comment by Lakota Phillips— July 23, 2008 #
The more I read this the more my heart aches. I completely agree with Simonne, devastating and beautiful.
Comment by Kristine ~ La Lunatique— July 23, 2008 #
It seems that whatever you lay your hand, or rather set your mind to, you seem to be able to perfect it immediately. The rhythmic heartbeat to this piece, matched by a perfect fluidity of thoughts expressed by a perfect fluidity of words and sounds…
To see a world in a grain of sand – you quite literally take a small speck of dust and blow on it to make from it the most utterly amazing dust cloud which encapsulates more than infinity…with something as simple but as profound as “but there is no silence
like hello unanswered,”
Beautiful piece…loved it, enjoyed it…
Comment by Sumedh— July 23, 2008 #
wonderful, paul. i love everything said and unsaid in this.
Comment by lissa— July 23, 2008 #
:((
Comment by Mental Mist— July 23, 2008 #
wonderful and moving, I love the repitition and the sadness,
Comment by Crafty Green Poet— July 23, 2008 #
blown away and rendered speechless
Comment by tipota— July 23, 2008 #
beautiful. tears-to-my-eyes beautiful.
and this must surely be quite publishable, it’s quite “normal” (in the best way, and for want of a better word) so it wouldn’t scare those boring ol’ Establishment types off…
you must try to get something in print. but anyway, yes, excellent poem.
Comment by peterandthehare— July 23, 2008 #
Gee, Pual, this was quite lovely and even somewhat linear.
Comment by ozymandiaz— July 23, 2008 #
*deep sigh … indescribably lovely …
Comment by Shell— July 23, 2008 #
awe, this was very watery-eyed. i love repetition, the weave of the concept. as said by the audience, in a word, lovely.
Comment by mrs. sarah OTT.— July 24, 2008 #
Ah, Paul Squires at his too shy to knock, best. Beautiful, simple, real.
Annie
Comment by writerchick— July 24, 2008 #
the only sound is the tears hitting the pillow…
Comment by psychobillygirl— July 24, 2008 #
My slingshot carries nuts and berries to a very squiggly mental point.
Sometimes I ride it.
Comment by Mollie Bryant— July 24, 2008 #
Thankyou everybody. That is a lovely comet tail rain of comments, thankyou.
Comment by Paul— July 25, 2008 #
Hi, Paul…
“but there is no silence
like hello unanswered”
For reasons I don’t really want to go in to here, I just want you to know that I felt this to my very core. Thanks for that (although it was a painful feeling, it hurt good ;)..)
Comment by Grace— July 25, 2008 #
“his fringe falling over his face…” ah those were the days… i’ve since shaved my head entirely of the fringe and now my carriage is completely exposed to all those ultraviolet waves… (and wouldn’t you know it, i’m all out of SPF 30)…
nonetheless…
interestingly provocative, as usual…
Comment by Chico Mahalo— July 26, 2008 #
I read this one first. It made me feel guilty for not responding sooner to your call at my place. Sigh. Pretty poem.
Comment by christine— July 26, 2008 #
Wow…this is so painful.
Comment by Tina— July 26, 2008 #
“there is no silence like a hello unanswered…”
lord i know how this feels..
What, are u reading my mind? LOL
Comment by cruxandflux— July 27, 2008 #
This is so sad, heartbreaking, I feel so bad for the little boy holding flowers….I would let him in, and welcome him….
This is oddly timed as well….just finished re-reading Great Expectations, and I would name this boy Pip.
Comment by thatplaidhipster— July 27, 2008 #
hmmm…this felt like watching my half empty(half full) coffee cup…the brown left-behind-shapes inside look as real as the melancholy of the already-consumed-coffee. Not a sour melancholy, it is a sweet one, still hopefull…
How I miss reading (from) you Po!
Comment by hayat— July 28, 2008 #
I am soooooo glad I decided to trace a few of your writings back to this piece Paul. Those flowers would be the sweetest smelling blooms methinks. I enjoy your writing so much…
Comment by poseidonsmuse— October 3, 2008 #
Note to me submitted to foam:e as part of Yellow Triptych. This one, The Yellow Dress and Infantile Infinite Regression.
Comment by Paul— March 15, 2009 #
What a sad image you’ve created. The loss of someone we love is never easy but you’ve written it so beautifully here. Every word. It’s those memories that haunt us. Have a great day.
Comment by Michelle Johnson— July 8, 2009 #
“there is no silence like hello unanswered”
is a BRILLIANT line.
Comment by meleah rebeccah— July 9, 2009 #
And I pop back in for a brief moment to this place, your place and find such beauty within.I see she was written a year ago, but to my eyes new and I am loving her very much, you.
Comment by SarahA— July 9, 2009 #
Oh, Paul, another one so worthy of being showcased once more. If I searched for fault here I could find none. If I searched for suggestions I’d be left silent myself. Just beautiful.
Comment by poeticgrin— July 9, 2009 #
Oh my goodness, Paul — heart-wrenching, beautiful, shiversome, and unutterably sad. A gem.
Comment by Thomma Lyn— July 9, 2009 #
Yes, a gem. This will haunt me.
Thankyou.
Comment by calliopespen— July 10, 2009 #
You seems to have great poetic skills that one can judge from your blog. Your blog looks awesome. Keep it up the good work.
Comment by Flowers— September 3, 2009 #
Well no wonder they published this one – it’s heart wrenchingly beautiful and I love it.
Comment by Gabrielle Bryden— March 24, 2010 #