dress rehearsal,

March 20, 2008 at 6:26 pm | Posted in poetry, writing | 14 Comments
Tags: , ,

now i know you’re not going to believe me
but i am as mad as a march hare,
who would be sane in such a world?

(now if you could just brush the hair out of your eyes so we can see them )

i wanted there to be one thing
wish would be true
in every situation to rely on as rock
and willow,

(cut! can we just adjust his.., yes that’s better)

and i realised that truth would be universal
since i am so changeable without
wish one would not be human

(props give him something to hold on to, now turn it over and look at it closely and up to the camera)

it’s not that i lack discipline
more that i feel movement
the skin transpires
Sir Richard looks at his watch. He is expecting Sir Ian for lunch. He remembers one night at the Vic when he heard a speech he thought he knew made articulate again. Cut, he murmurs to himself, wonderful, darling..

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14 Comments »

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  1. it’s not that i lack discipline, more that i feel movement, the skin transpires, it is an event

    Love this. The whole is very, very well done….very vivid, as always, but with real undertone. A speech of a speech of a speech of a speech?

  2. good write–so I wonder what was the prop?

  3. alas, poor yorick, a skull, which is why the skin has transpired, an event in the past and a breathing across,

  4. I knew that–just checking–read the cliff notes. 🙂

  5. ‘it’s not that i lack discipline, more that i feel movement’ – LOVE that.

  6. I got a “Through The Looking-Glass” impression from this, knowing nothing, as I do, about actors or most anything else, for that matter, other than the fact that in late afternoon, any putt attempted perpindicular to the pin’s shadow will be against the grain, therefore requiring a firmer stroke. And this I offer without charge… you can thank me later.

  7. Jo, thanks, playwithinaplay, an oldie but a goodie, Julia, thanks again, Scot, ahah, we used to the call them Brodies Notes, saved me many a time. Thanks Bob, I play golf like I write, no rules, trust my instincts, i have edited this piece, slimmed it and made it more obvious a poem, thanks for all the help, everybody,

  8. I particularly loved the 2nd stanza,

    “I wanted there to be one thing…

  9. I absolutely love this! It’s very unique et gripping. Kudoz!

  10. Mad as March hare..hmm!

    So where are the rotating tea cups?

    😉

  11. Love the motion, how you take us into the poem and outside of it / behind the camera lens. Wonderful play on perspective, contrast (mad/sane, truth/changeable, etc) and on sound (hare/hair). Great poem you remain true to your style of freezing us in the moment, freezing the eye.

  12. Great line breaks ……. 🙂

  13. ahaha Cut! Print! Moving on!

  14. I love the movement in this


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