((((((((((((you)))))))))))))

September 16, 2007 at 8:19 am | Posted in writing | 9 Comments
Tags: , ,

If I was as clever as my reviews suggest,
(never mind the flattery of fluttering eyelashes)
this would be the last thing you read before you
turned away and sought out a human with whom
to share a heartbeat.

A heartbeat is mere ‘lectrickery, of course,
and can be passed from chest to chest
if they are in close proximity
and can even be transmitted thru a smile
and flick you skip a beat which is
really just, flick, a beat slipped in

but then again if it were possible for you
to be embraced and embracing
I guess you would be, so I will hide
just one slip one heartbeat in here
and hope it reaches you
despite the loneliness of words
and the silence of this screen.

Advertisements

9 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Beautiful and depressing……..though isn’t a mindbeat as important as a heartbeat?

  2. I hope so. I didn’t mean to be depressing, I was hoping the mindbeat in the poem would be an adequate substitute for a heartbeat but if it depresses perhaps it isn’t.

  3. Oh it is an adequate substitute which is why the ending is so uplifting. It’s the first verse that stuck a blue note — to me it suggests that writing is no substitute for living; I may be misreading you, of course (only just getting used to your elusive style)…….a thousand apologies if I am, there is nothing worse.

    Back to the poem: I particularly like the way the heatbeat is brought to life with the flick skip slip.

    There’s a mistake (is) in my first comment. Why on earth can we not edit them?

    Hello!

    (Strangely I can edit your comments so I fixed it for you. Writing is no substitute for living just a subset of aforesaid. Paul.)

  4. And I’ve got to ask: how come the comments are there for this piece in some categories but not all? Very magical.

  5. Nice poem…wonderful sentiments, profoundly expressed!

  6. That is a lovely poem. I loved the bit about a heartbeat being transferred to another person.
    How did you find my site btw?

  7. thankyou all. I really don’t remember how I found your site. I like to follow blogrolls, perhaps you are linked to here via some degrees of seperation? I liked your site and I put it on my blogroll but wordpress is till experiencing technical difficulties and it hasn’t appeared yet. Nevermind, hello,

  8. And there was me thinking it was time slippage……….

  9. Oh, just noticed the fix — thanks — and I agree re subset.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: