classic message in a bottle cliche

March 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm | Posted in australian poetry, poetry, writing | 8 Comments
Tags: , ,

The intricate complexity of water
music which baffles such a simple creature
overlapping layers trills of silver darts above
the shallow bass of yellow sand
with waves of shovel nose rays
suspended in the mid range.

Time is graceful
and smooth

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8 Comments »

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  1. Delicious!
    Thanks, Brad. Do you think it should be ‘base’ or ‘bass’. If it’s ‘bass’ like music people might mispronounce it as ‘bass’ like the type of fish. Hmm, I’ve changed it to ‘bass’ now so there is fishyfish in in the middle three lines even though it should be pronounced base.

  2. This is just proof positive of how much I love a good cliché, appropriately placed and beautifully exchanged.
    Thankyou, Narnie.

  3. oh delicious is so the right word for this indeed! And it has a lot of bass in it, just the way I like it! :)
    Cool thanks, Sumedh. Your portrait series is splendiferous.

  4. this is beautiful, it reminds me of the water crystal photos of Masaru Emoto in which he shows how the structure is effected by the atmosphere around the water
    http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm
    Those are beautiful, Tipota.

  5. I think the possibility of more fish is music to my ears and so I vote for ‘bass’. I also appreciated the erosive properties of ‘smooths’. I guess the ‘s’ was taken by the tide, eh?
    Cool, thanks Brad. I think you’re right. The ‘s’, yes got washed away, perhaps I’ll scratch in the sand again later,

  6. “Graceful and smooth” aptly describes this little gem of a poem!

  7. I can see this. I can hear it too. The water is clear.

  8. Graceful and smooth, just for a timeless moment.


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